The Mommy Playdate

I must admit I was really excited to be able to write a blog post for Living My Moment, it seemed like I would have so many things to share, so many insightful anecdotes from my life as a Mom, and business owner.  But then I sat down to write and came up a blank. What was really so different about my life to make it interesting for other mothers to want to read?  I could talk about the lack of time we have as mothers who are busy running the household (I know it sounds so old fashioned, but think about what we do with scheduling, cleaning, laundry, picking up, dropping off and it is “running” the house)  but I think we’re already more than aware of this.  I could talk about running a business in these tough economic times when maybe my product is not the first thing on anybodies must have list, but that seemed more like complaining than being constructive. So last night when I met up with a group of mothers from school for drinks, something we are trying to do once I month, I asked for their input, and they came up with ideas that they thought might resonate with other mothers.

It was this morning, as I sat down to start writing, that I realized maybe my evening out would be most relevant topic to write about.  I’m not sure if this speaks for all the moms out there but I know in the days before children, I had a group of girlfriends that I would meet up with on a regular basis. We got to discuss problems, work issues, relationship issues and everyday gripes. But once I had children I found that fell away.  None of my other friends were having children and so our priorities became very different, I couldn’t just head out at the drop of a hat and was, quite frankly, no longer up to hanging in bars until late at night knowing I would  be up at the crack of dawn.  So over the years, and especially since leaving a full time job and starting a business out of my home, my social life became much more centered around my family life.

A couple of moms from my daughters school were the ones who took the initiative to get some other moms together to meet up, just as an excuse to get out of the house, without husbands and children, and I must say I jumped at the chance! Being able to take myself out of the family setting, sitting in a place I would never go to with my girls, sipping a cocktail, and chatting about everything from homework problems to what happened in the last Mad Men.  I thought it was interesting was when I heard that another mother had said that she’d love to come out but felt guilty about leaving her children at home with her husband to go out by herself, even though her husband had a regular evening out.  This got me thinking about how as mothers we tend to put our needs, or wants pretty low down on our lists. There is nothing wrong at all about putting our families first, and I know my children come before anything else, but we should also realize that getting out of the house, leaving the children behind, even if we can only do it infrequently, to recharge our batteries does everyone good.  Last night a group of six mothers discussed homework problems, and issues with our children, but also got input for new projects, shared experiences, and just relaxed. And for a few hours be got to be someone other than mom. We also felt like part of a community who have an understanding of the joys and tribulations of our everyday lives.  There are many ways to do this, I happen to like the idea of a “grown-up” night out. Someone I know started a fabulous group called Cooking With Friends Club which gets people together in the kitchen, making meals together and connecting with each other, and of course there’s the always popular book club. I suppose the point of all this is that we should not forget how important to our health, happiness and generally mental well being these friendships, or acquaintances, are and we should embrace the fact that every now and then we just need to get out of the house and let our mommy responsibilities fall to someone else, however briefly.

Juliette Conroy is the mother of two incredible girls, a photographer (www.julietteconroy.com) and founder of online company friends with a fish (www.friendswithafish.com)

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